I watched the groom’s relationship with his ex-wife and his children, and I decided there would be no wedding. I don’t want that kind of good for nothing and I don’t want it with a dowry. It’s not my fairy tale.
I’m a pretty mature girl now, so it’s not surprising that there are a lot of men of my peers with a past. It doesn’t scare me at all. More alarming are those who have no ex-wives and no long-term relationships in the past. Immediately a suspicion arises that there is something wrong here.
Adam and I met at one of our corporate parties. He worked with me in the same company, but in a different department. We got to talking, exchanged phone numbers, started talking, then moved in together. Again, I’m a big girl, I don’t have time to rub our noses in each other’s faces for five years. I don’t want to waste extra time with an unsuitable man.
Adam, on the other hand, seemed very suitable. He was cheerful, witty, attentive, and also earned not bad money – well, the dream. The dream had an ex-wife and two children in the past, the eldest was about ten and the youngest about seven.
Adam said nothing about his ex-wife, simply stated the fact that he had her, as well as children. He saw his children, paid alimony, and was always in touch with them. I was not acquainted with them, we both thought that it was not the right time yet. And when the relationship developed to the stage of proposal, my ex-wife went to another city together with the children to take care of my mother who was ill, so the acquaintance was cancelled.
Yes, Adam proposed to me, I said yes, of course. We started to prepare for the wedding. A lavish celebration was not planned, but all the same we wanted to gather our relatives and friends for this auspicious day. We planned a check-in at the wedding party and then the feast at once. Without any driving around the city and other stuff.
Preparations were in full swing, the wedding was only a few days away when my husband announced that his ex was back in town with the kids. It was said in a neutral tone as information. I asked him if he wanted to see the kids at the wedding, and he shrugged his shoulders vaguely, saying he would have to ask them.
I asked him to keep it short so I could quickly make changes to the restaurant on the number of dishes and seats. I understand that two kids doesn’t make much of a difference, but I wanted to make sure it went without too much of a hitch.
Adam nodded, adding that it was actually time for me to meet them. He called his ex, arranged to take the kids for a day so we could get properly acquainted, and if all went well, then take them to the wedding. She didn’t protest.
And then a couple of days later, we drive up to her house, she comes down with the kids, she and Adam are talking, and I look at them and realize that they’re not exes for shit. And she has pain in her eyes, and he’s all stretched out like a string, and the kids are around them – well, that’s a normal loving family, just in a fight.
I was hurt and a little offended, but I realized that I had nothing to go on. I felt like a mistress who took a man out of the family. I pulled myself together, intervened in the conversation, said that the plans had changed and we could not take the children. Under the astonished look of my ex, I dragged the dazed Adam home.
There we had a very frank conversation, he poured out all the pain to me, told me why they divorced, that he still loved her. In general, very frankly talked, we both cried, decided that the wedding will not happen. Well, where to – he loves her, she obviously loves him, they have two children. What have I lost here? Always walking around looking over my shoulder?
No more, I do not need such a happiness for nothing or money. I sent Adam to his ex-wife in the morning for a frank discussion, and I went to cancel the event myself. I don’t know how it’s going to work out, but I don’t want to be the other one forever. If they’re not both fools there, they’ll still be fine.
