My mother-in-law Sandra has many pluses. She’s not mean. And I like it very much. You can tell her everything you’re not happy with. Just talk about it normally, correctly, she understands, accepts and means it in the future. She’s not vindictive. If any child, daughter-in-law or son-in-law has wronged her, she never holds a grudge. Again, you can talk to her about anything. She’s not a gossip. She will never say anything about a son-in-law or daughter-in-law to outsiders, even if she’s not happy about something. And if she does have to speak out, she does so as tactfully as possible.
For example, the husband of her daughter, refused to take their child to the clinic, while his wife was pregnant. Sandra had to travel from another city to take her granddaughter to the doctor. And this at a time when it is generally recommended that the elderly do not go out of the house. For all the perplexing relatives, she only sighed:
-Well, he does not like these clinics, what can you do.
She is always on the side of his grandchildren. Never once scolded them for nothing. She is always their advocate in front of their parents. Sandra has her quirks. Perhaps she has a right to them. But all my friends who know her say that they would have been so mad, they would have turned their mother-in-law away. She comes to us with her own food. She brings us buns, pies, soups, goulash, homemade dumplings, and more.
The way Sandra presents it :
-You’ll have less to cook, spend your time on something else.
As I see it.
She wants to pamper her son. He loved it so much when he was a kid.
The way my friends see it.
-She’s humiliating you. She’s clearly showing that she doesn’t expect anything good from your cooking, or that she doesn’t believe you have any food at home.
She checks the shirts in my husband’s closet. If she doesn’t think they are enough or old, she will come back with new shirts next time. She checks to see if the soles of his shoes are thin, if they get wet.
How Sandra presents it :
-He will not buy anything more than once, he will wear them to the holes. Or buy something really cheap.
The way I see it.
She’s just used to taking care of him. He’s always a son to her. She just wants to be important in his life. Even though he’s been an adult and independent for a long time.
The way my friends see it:
-She thumbs you for not taking care of his clothes and shoes, not caring, not buying.
I really don’t interfere, I don’t check or buy my husband clothes. He does it exclusively on his own. To me he is an adult, to my mother-in-law a child. She’s always asking how much our purchases cost.
The way Sandra presents it :
-It’s easier for me to understand how you have money. Maybe you need help.
As I see it.
She is curious. She worries about our financial situation.
The way my friends see it.
-She’s controlling you. She needs to know what you’re spending his paycheck on.
Maybe they’re right about something. But she’s so approachable that no negative thoughts about her behavior or thoughts are even in my mind.
