After we got married, things between my wife and I were surprisingly easy and successful. We got married with the idea that we would live with her parents, but my mother and father were moving to the country, and the apartment was just sold to divide the money between me and my sister. I put mine together with what my father-in-law added, and we were able to buy a big one-room apartment, where we just put a partition, making two rooms. We thought one would be a nursery, but somehow we had no luck with kids.
At first we just didn’t want to, then our careers took off and we had no time for childbirth and upbringing. And then we just couldn’t make it, and my wife refused to go to the doctor. I wasn’t particularly eager to have a baby either. We lived happily together and neither of us cared much about who would bring us a glass of water in our old age. An important role was also played by friends who already had children – in debt, as in silk, cranky children and all the rude, constantly one complaint from a friend to his wife received. So we finally decided that we would do without such happiness, if somehow it does not work itself out.
When we were both thirty-three, my wife and I invested in an apartment building. The sum was not very large, so we decided to take the risk, although many dissuaded us. Still, by thirty-seven we had a one-room apartment ready to move in. We did minimal repairs to make it look even more perfect. My wife said it was an insurance policy in case we had children, and if not, we would pass everything on to our nephews at our old age.
For the time being it was decided to rent out the apartment, not so many people wished, because we tried to rent it out ourselves, without the services of a realtor. For more publicity shared with friends, so they could tell us where else to publish an ad, as suddenly there was an awkward question about whether our friends with children can move in there. They have lived for years in rental apartments, which are in terrible condition, and here and the new building, and good repair, and even a “discount” can get.
It was our mistake to tell our friends about the apartment, not even suggesting that some of them might want to rent, but now I’m very sorry.
– There’s only one room, you have too big a family,” my wife tried to hint.
– So what? We still live in a one-room apartment. And from your photos, you can see that it will be more spacious.
– But it is a new renovation, and you have babies and a cat …
– What, you think we’re some kind of slob and we’re gonna ruin your renovation?
We said we had to think about it, although I personally did not want to think about it. I’ve been to their house, and I’ve seen that they’re a mess. In the end, my wife dumped on me the need to call and refuse them, citing silly reasons.
What I heard in response was the following:
– You have such an apartment, and my parents will die one day, leaving you theirs, and you are still not enough and sorry about the real estate! You will sit above your apartments and wither away without children, without friends and without joy in life!
Is this an adequate response to rejection? We don’t owe them anything, and we don’t have to make things better and more comfortable for them. It’s not our problem that they have had children without their own homes and parental support, and now they have nowhere to live. Everyone survives as best they can, so why can’t we rent to a stranger for a normal amount, and not make perpetual discounts and favors for friends?
