Today our 20-year marriage ended in the courtroom. To be honest, I still don’t believe it. When we came to a mutual decision to separate a few months ago, I felt like the world turned upside down. I was scared of life without you. You’ve been my favorite and reliable person for so many years. And I owe you so much. I owe you so much these past 20 years. So I thought you should know something on this first day of our new relationship.
You deserve a reward for spending 20 years with a man like me. We both know I’m not easy to love. I’m overactive, I don’t sleep much, I joke around a lot, and I’m often wrong. I took on too much to chase my dreams. And it was hard for you because I was dragging you on adventures you didn’t sign up for. I realized too late that many of my passions had become a nightmare for you. My life consists of striving for new things and making bold plans. Imagine a room stuffed with explosives…I sit in that room very often playing with matches. But you were always ready to go with me wherever I took you, and you corrected my temper with your patience and calmness. I realize now that my habits have affected those I love. And I sincerely regret it.
Statistically it was a good decision. We both know that 50% of marriages end in divorce … and the other 50% end in death! And we dodged the worst.
You are an AMAZING mom. Your kindness and love for our children is perhaps the most beautiful quality about you. You are a model in parenting and you just live your love for them and they live your love for you.
I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Getting married means voluntarily giving yourself into slavery, which often turns out to be a nightmare in reality. Frankly, I’m happy you don’t have to deal with it anymore. You deserve a quiet and measured life, and I’m glad you understand that.
For the record, I would still marry you … even if I knew how it would end. Yes, we have three amazing kids, but even if we didn’t have them … I still would have chosen you. You made me a better person. I can’t imagine my life without you.
You can’t make me stop loving you. I tried to convince myself to hate you, but it didn’t work. You’re just too good. The only thing that surprised me about you and me was how quickly and easily we became friends. It’s like we’re back to where we started. And so I’m glad we’re ending our relationship as friends. I love that we still talk about our kids, life, plans, movies, music.
I’ll always be there to help in any situation. I love that you are learning and exploring your passions and desires. I’ll always be there for you if you need help … because I’m a fan. And I always will be.
Our divorce taught me one thing: If I had known it would be over in 20 years, I would have squatted more.
I’m not stupid and understand that a woman like you won’t be alone. It’s easy to fall in love with you. And I want you to know that I will approve of whomever you fall in love with. I will no doubt be friends with him and embarrass him with stories of our past.
This is going to sound silly, but I want to end our marriage “nicely.” I am honored to have been with you for 20 years. I am honored to be your best friend for the rest of my life.
From the bottom of my heart,
Your ex-husband.
