I was reading a bedtime story to my five-year-old son when he suddenly looked at me with eyes full of tears and started begging me not to bring a brother or sister into the house. Why not? Because then he would get everything.
To begin with, I should probably say that my second pregnancy was a big surprise to both my husband and me. After my son was born, all the doctors said that I was not going to have any more children, and then suddenly I was pregnant again. When we found out, it was already thirteen weeks, there was nothing to do. But it was like my husband was mad at me for having a second child. There was a chill between us after the news. Only my son was excited at first. He was so excited, promising to help me with the baby. He had heard and seen that some of the kids in his group in kindergarten also had siblings, so he wanted to.
My husband was out of the company of those who were waiting, he was doing everything for me as a favor, and at the same time he was setting his son against the future child. I don’t know exactly how and what he told my son, what horrors he intimidated him with, proving that we would stop loving him after the birth of the second child, but the fact remains that my son cried because he doesn’t want to see anyone else in our family.
I’m sure it’s my husband, because others around us support me. Even my mother-in-law, and she is glad. And only my husband is furious.
And how do you convince a small child that no one will forget about him? Especially right after the birth I’ll really be busy, so I can spend less time with my son. It makes my own hands tremble when I imagine that everything will get worse after the baby is born. It’s like I’m already regretting this pregnancy myself. I hope my husband will change his mind when he sees the baby, and my son will change his mind, but what if he doesn’t? What if no one is there for me during these difficult hours? And then things would only get worse afterwards.
