My mother lives by tradition and old ways of living. She tried to raise me as a man who only works and pays for everything, since household chores should be on the girl, but luckily I left home early – my first year of college – and thanks to that I grew up as an independent guy. I can cook and clean and handle any issues on my own. That’s what Julia appreciates in me in the first place.
She’s a very modest, shy girl, she really needs a strong man’s shoulder. And she also likes to feel protected around me. And I like that, too. In our relationship as a whole there is equality, but I still often feel superior and responsible. I also want to propose to her and offer to rent one apartment for two while we are saving for the wedding, because that way we can save more money.
It is a pleasure to live with Julia. We don’t even have to agree on who does the cleaning and when – we both help out. Our motto is “If you see the trash – take it away. It’s the same with dishes and other things. So our life together is very comfortable, and after we get married, I think it will be even better.
But my mom doesn’t acknowledge our desire to live together until we are married. She’s not even worried about me, she’s worried about Julia. She’s a girl, she feels unprotected while I’m dragging it out.
– What if I have a baby all of a sudden? Wouldn’t you want one? The poor girl thinks you have such a civil marriage and that you have to do something, but you’re a man. You men can always turn around and leave, just like your father…” – my mother wailed.
And I don’t understand why she’s so sure that I’ll leave Julia because of this. On the contrary, it’s good to settle down together before the wedding, and we’ve already succeeded. And even if a baby suddenly appears out of the plans – no big deal, we’re relatively ready for it.
Is my mom so disappointed in men because my father left her with me, or she doesn’t trust me? I don’t know if getting married soon will make her feel better. What if she’ll find reasons to worry and feel sorry for Julia for marrying me? I don’t want to think that my mother is more worried about her daughter-in-law than she is about me, but that’s what it looks like.
