When I met girls online, I made it pretty clear that I wanted to be in a serious relationship. At the time when I met Sarah, I was already twenty-six and absolutely ready to get married and have children. I had money, ambition, and opportunities. She was a very young girl, but nothing in her life worked out the way she wanted it to: her family demanded money, she was evicted from her dormitory for non-payment, and she was not happy with her studies. She agreed to marry me in any way she could in order to live well. I liked her a lot, because she was not only nice to look at, but also a great conversationalist, and she understood my jokes. I promised her that we would get married in the near future and we tried to have a baby ourselves. Six months of trying were unsuccessful, and at work I met the beautiful and mature Monica, who was older than me, but she already had a three-year-old daughter. At first I spent time with them because I wanted to babysit, and then somehow the thought came to me that this was my ideal family.
I left Sara, saying I was in love. I didn’t love Monica that much, but I hoped I’d just get used to her in time. I was happy to be a father, and besides, we had twins, and I’d been over the moon for the last eight years until I met Sara on the school’s doorstep with a seven-year-old boy. I was picking up my daughter, and here was my ex-girlfriend with a boy who looked just like me.
Sara didn’t deny it-my baby. She already knew about it when I left, but she didn’t tell me anything on purpose. She brought up her son by herself, and she earns her own money. She is very independent and doesn’t need my help or my apologies. She gave me a look at the baby and took the boy home. She didn’t give me an address or a new number.
I have mixed feelings, but I know very well that I am angry with her. I was stupid and blinded by the idea of family, which made me trade love for someone else’s baby, but how could she not stop me when she knew she was pregnant? I never would have left if I had known, and our life would have turned out differently. I would have raised my son since he was born, and now what? Sarah wouldn’t even look me in the eye or hear from me, and I wasn’t sure I should be making up for lost time, because Monica and I were doing well, and the twins hadn’t been born that long ago… Still, it was a shame about the way things had turned out.
