It probably sounds cynical, but I didn’t sign up to make those decisions either. My husband is with my parents alone, they didn’t run after him too much, but they behaved like decent parents: raised him, educated him, stayed out of his life for the time being. My mother-in-law and I did not get along or quarrel in any way, there was no reason to. She paid me off with small gifts, did not interfere with my conversations, I was only grateful that the woman was busy with herself. In the same way, she came to my aid when needed, gave me gifts for the holidays.
My mother-in-law gave up sharply when her husband left. She is now over 80, quite a strong woman, but great loosened up psychologically, withdrawn, often cries. She makes it clear: she is afraid of one. Bored. But I do not want to take her to us.
But if not us, then either find her a nurse, to pay for her work. Or get my mother-in-law into a good nursing home. Not a state nightmare, just a decent boarding house. And there’s a wedge, as they say.
Either she stays at home with us, or the two of us work for her staff. But I don’t want her at home for a simple reason: I have a mother alive, too. And she is the same age as my mother-in-law. Mom, however, all her life did not overeat, actively moved, and now feels great, rushing with his girlfriends then to the woods, then in the choir. But it will not always be, and how do I take my mother-in-law? What to do then with my mother?
And if the house will be just two old ladies, it’s easier to go to the afterlife itself, who cared for the elderly, he knows. And earning two grandmothers for a boarding house is also not a good idea.
I wish we had thought of some delicate and convenient way to solve this problem. My husband has withdrawn on his own, waiting for me to sort it out on his own, and he will only nod that he is not disturbed.
In the beginning of life we cannot see the light of day to get back on our feet, then we raise our children, and then they give us grandchildren. And then it seems that we have a moment to take care of ourselves, and there are our parents and other elderly relatives. And so it turns out that we spend our whole lives revolving around other people’s interests, doesn’t it?
But I still object to my mother-in-law living in our apartment, and she’s already making a scene. She hasn’t moved in yet, and already she’s not living there.
