Every year I feel less and less like celebrating a birthday myself. At some point you realize that you’re not growing up anymore, you’re getting older, and it’s an unnecessary expense to gather guests. As I get older, I get less social and on my birthday I just need a call from my parents to say happy birthday, a bouquet of flowers from my husband and cards drawn by my daughters. With my dad, however, it’s the other way around.
He’s sixty-seven years old, about to turn sixty-eight, but apparently he doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday the way he has for the past twenty years – with his family. He has friends in the neighborhood with whom he doesn’t mind going out for a drink and talking about his own things, but he refuses to bring his children and grandchildren home. At first his only request was for gifts, like he wanted this or that, or to give all the money. That was our plan, but I know that my cousin does not live very well, so rarely can give something sensible or the same money, and here dad put her in an awkward position, asking almost unrealistic.
Even with the fact that some still drop out and there will be fewer guests at the table, Dad wished that we would leave the grandchildren at home either with babysitters or themselves, because he is old, he has a headache, does not want to listen to noise and clamor. And the fact that he barely sees his grandchildren anyway, he doesn’t care.
My husband’s reluctance to see our children really hurt him. He doesn’t want to go himself anymore, and I’m inclined to think that hiring someone for the sake of one night of cake is very uncomfortable.
Maybe it’s a silly idea, but what if Dad just doesn’t want to see all of us and therefore makes stuff up? If there are no guests, he’ll leave Mom and run off somewhere with his friends, and we’re burdening him on his own holiday.
