I always thought my father loved me more than my mother. He pampered me, and she scolded me; he was the first one to make peace, and Mom was the first one to quarrel. So when I found out about my parents’ divorce, I was even a little relieved. I didn’t want to stay with my mother at thirteen, and besides, I thought that my father, as the breadwinner of the family, would be better able to provide for me. My parents were interested in my opinion, my mom hoped I would stay with her, but she wasn’t the least bit surprised when I preferred my dad.
A year after moving out, Dad got himself a new girlfriend. She was about the same age as my mom and my dad really liked her. She treated me well, but without my mother’s love and warmth. When she and my father had a daughter together, it was as if they had forgotten about me. Sometimes the three of them would go away without thinking to take me with them, or they would have some festive dinners while I was at the dance. There was a crib in my room now, and I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since the baby was born-she cried at night, my stepmother came to feed her in the middle of the night and in the morning, turned on the lights…
My father didn’t care how it affected my well-being or my grades at school, he still didn’t swear at me or even care when I went out late with friends, as long as I didn’t have to go home. At some point I realized that I couldn’t go on like this. I want to enter after ninth grade, and if I continue to sleep badly, I will not be able to pass the exams I need. For the sake of this I made up my mind and called my mother.
– Can I come over for a while? – I asked, not getting my hopes up. I rarely called her myself, and I visited her even less often.
– Of course, honey, come for as long as you want. Sister’s been bothering you, hasn’t she?
I felt sorry for Mom. Dad had a new family and worries, and Mom was still all alone.
I asked Dad if I could move in with Mom temporarily, and he said yes right away. He promised to send money, and he didn’t call me back at all. I think it was a lot easier for all of us. Maybe it’s because I’m older, but my mom and I are like friends now. She takes care of me and supports me, and I talk to my dad on the phone sometimes. He thinks I’m all grown up, but my mom sometimes treats me like a kid and makes me dinner after work and makes really good cocoa, which we drink to the shows.
If I could rewind time, I probably would have decided to stay with her. But then, on the other hand, I might regret it just as much and think it might have been better elsewhere.
