About six months ago I married Mark. My mother helped us solve the housing problem by giving us her one-bedroom apartment. But she warned us that we had eight years to do everything, because I have a younger sister, and when she came of age, the apartment would be sold, and the money would be divided equally between us.
Everyone was fine with those terms. The wedding was beautiful and was celebrated in a restaurant. We paid for the whole banquet in half, I had some savings, and Mark was earning good money.
The day after the celebration my husband raised the question of the family budget.
He proposed a jointly-separate option. In his calculations he said that in order to pay the utilities, buy food and go to the movies and cafes, we need about this amount, that is, each of us should contribute in half, and we also save for the apartment at least 20% of our salaries. We keep the rest of the money for ourselves.
This was a lot of money for me, as my salary is not as big as Mark’s. I warned him right away that it would be hard for me to pay that much money every month, and in general the spouses should just have a common budget. Mark calmly replied that we should both try to do the same for our family.
So if it is difficult for me to pay that much money now, I should find a better job. We live in a small town, and we don’t have many high-paying jobs. My husband works at his relative’s company.
I decided to take heed, and looked for part-time work. This is how we lived, we deposited money every month, I constantly saved on myself, didn’t buy anything, kept money in case of holidays to buy gifts. Mark, on the other hand, lived the high life, buying expensive clothes and perfume.
One day we started talking about vacations. My husband offered to go abroad, we had to pay separately again. I didn’t have time to raise such a sum, so he ended up flying alone.
I was very offended, but I didn’t say anything, the relationship was more important to me. A few months later I found out that the organization where my mom worked closed down. Finding a job at 50 is very difficult, and she has a 15-year-old daughter growing up. All the time my mom had been providing for her as best she could, but now her savings ran out.
My mother called me and asked for help. I couldn’t say no. This month I just couldn’t make the savings for the apartment. When my husband found out, he complained that I couldn’t earn anything.
“Neither save with you, nor go to the sea. And what kind of help can you give to your relatives on such a small salary?” – repeated Mark.
After these words, I told my husband that he disappointed me with his attitude and selfishness. And he calmly replied that I married him, not for his money, and in general, everyone should count only on himself.
Mark is convinced that we have to do everything separately. But I have very different principles; I believe that family members should support each other. There is no way we can come to a compromise. Now I don’t know if I want to continue living with him.
