“In my forties I live with my family in Rome and my parents in Russia. Both my father and mother have begun to have age-related illnesses, and they have begun to ask me to take them in. I’m well aware that moving them in would have a big impact on our standard of living. But if they didn’t give me anything, why should I?
I won’t tell you the thousand and one struggles I had to go through to get my hard-won happiness. I have been living with my spouse for over seven years. I work only half of the day and I have to pay for the school, sections, and activities of our child myself, as well as buy clothes for myself and my son, all other expenses are taken care of by my spouse. When I first arrived in Rome, I offered my parents to move here too, but they refused, explaining it by the fact that they didn’t want to live in a foreign land, but they would like to rest at sea here with the greatest pleasure. I told them then that holidays here are too expensive and our conversation came to a standstill.
Now my parents can be called old people. My mother complains all the time that they don’t even have anyone to give them and my father a glass of water, so they want to move in with me. They used to humiliate my spouse every time they came to visit us. They can at least move here to live tomorrow, because I made them a reunion with my grandson even earlier. I even treated my dad here once.
If my parents do decide to move, I will have to rent a place for them and my entire salary will go to pay their bills, and my son and I will have to deny ourselves everything. My parents have no savings, and their apartment costs nothing.
One of my Russian friends advises me to feel sorry for myself, my spouse, and my son. If they didn’t give me anything, why should I? My friend says that if because of my parents I decided to save money on my child, then I am crazy, and she calls my parents very impudent. She advises me to tell them that I can’t get the paperwork done and therefore their move is impossible. My soul is torn apart, as I feel very sorry for my parents, but also for myself and my son, who may not get anything because of his grandparents. I have no idea what way out of this situation I can find?”
In fact, the author of this letter is looking for support in shedding her responsibility for her elderly parents. She wants readers to support and approve of her disgraceful act, probably so it will be easier for her to decide to do this meanness. I think the act of this woman – this is the most true betrayal, and a decent way out of any situation can be found.
Nowadays many people firmly believe that they are owed something by their parents, when they do not feel they owe anything to their father and mother. Maybe I do not understand something, but I do not see how it is possible to do such a mean thing to the closest and dearest people?
How can this woman live in Rome and enjoy her life, knowing that her elderly parents are living somewhere in poverty, forgotten by God?
