There are a lot of mama’s boys around these days. Half the trouble if it’s a young guy, but no! He’s a big guy! A man in his forties, and his mother visits him regularly, once a month, to buy him groceries, cook him meals, and clean up the apartment.
One of my colleagues at work told me about this. Her brother lives in another city, he went to study, and he stays there. He wasn’t married, didn’t have children, and didn’t have a family either. Of course, he was married more than once, but somehow it didn’t work out. Maybe the daughters-in-law didn’t like the fact that our mother was always visiting our brother and bossing him around as if she were at home, or maybe something else didn’t suit them.
Anyway, now my brother lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment. Our parents helped him buy this apartment. My mother calls my brother regularly and asks how he is doing, what he ate, and how his night was. My brother also calls my mother all the time and reports on his every move. If, God forbid, his brother does not call his mother, she cannot find her place all day. There are a million reasons why my brother may not call: he forgot his phone, overslept, he is swamped at work. I talk to my brother very rarely, because to me he is always busy, or maybe he pretends he doesn’t have time?
Our mother visits her brother regularly. I think she would visit him more often, but she is a lady of a decent age and it is a bit hard for her to stay on the road for five hours. When my mother comes to visit my brother, she immediately takes care of the cleaning. She comes to visit him for a day: she cleans, does the laundry, cooks, buys him groceries, and then goes home the next evening.
While my mother is at my brother’s house, he goes about his business. I repeatedly fought with both my mother and my brother over this, but it was all to no avail. I have repeatedly told my mother that my brother must learn to cope by himself, but my mother does not want to listen to anything, saying, “Is the boy going to manage by himself? Our mother is well into her sixties, she is no longer a girl, and her health is not good. How many times have I told my brother, all to no avail, he has only one excuse: “Do I have to kick her out when she arrives?”
A couple of weeks ago, my brother’s laptop broke, so my mother suggested that we all chip in and buy the boy a new one.
I then told her that my brother is no longer a boy, and his salary is decent, and so if necessary, he can buy his own, and he is already well settled. I have two children, so I have somewhere to spend the money.
My mother and I had a big fight, and she called me a worthless sister and said that I was completely selfish. And I am sitting here thinking, why should I help a grown man, who has arms and legs, and a bright head, and the fact that he is on his mother’s neck, so it’s her problem that she allows him to do it.
Anyway, my mother and I had a big fight over my brother. I became bad, she was offended at me for not agreeing to help him. And why on earth should I help him? My brother had his arms and legs. He has a good job and a decent salary, but he’s still waiting for his mother to feed him and clean up after him.
What would you do in this situation, tell me in the comments?
