Seven years ago I got married. And then my husband calls me the other day and says:
– You try to cook something delicious there! And a lot! Jake’s coming over tonight!
I’m so upset! But why does Jake have to come over all the time? I couldn’t stand it and told my husband:
– He’s been here lately, hasn’t he? He’s coming over again, isn’t he?
– Yeah, he’s having some problems with his laptop! We’ll have to take a look at it!
Jake came to see us on Friday and left late Sunday night. I’m already so sick of it! When will it all be over? I just do not have the strength to take it all. Jake is not my husband’s son. He’s nobody to him at all. He’s just the child of his first wife from his first marriage.
My husband married his ex-wife when Jake was 3 years old, and he raised him until he was 17. Jake’s birth father never showed up in his life, so my husband replaced him as his father. Although he is not really his father.
It disgusts me so much to hear Jake call him his father. We live in an apartment that we bought with a mortgage. We have an eight-month-old son.
It took me a long time to get married. It was like some kind of curse was on me. I both met men myself and was introduced to them. But on a second date with me no one came. I did not understand what was wrong with me. I seemed nice, and with a sense of humor, and talkative. But it just didn’t add up.
But my husband and I quickly found a common language, we were so good together. But my mom was totally against my getting married. First, he was older than me, and second, he was already married.
In his first marriage my husband lived with his wife for 14 years, and then they just became strangers and so divorced. When my husband married his first wife, he asked her very much to have a child together. But the ex-wife flatly refused. After Jake’s father left her, she did not trust men at all, so she was afraid to have a child. Although he was very responsible and reliable. Maybe that is why her husband became so attached to Jake. He treated him like his own son and was even more involved in his upbringing than his mother.
I love my husband very much. He is serious, intelligent and decent. He courted me so handsomely. Immediately after the wedding I got pregnant. We were very happy about that news. My husband had savings and so he invested that money in a nice two-bedroom apartment in a prestigious area.
Now he provides for me and the baby, pays the mortgage. And I stay at home with my son.
I really hoped that husband would help me a lot with the baby. But he spends very little time with the child. He doesn’t show any initiative. He doesn’t refuse to help me, but you have to ask for everything. I ask him to support my son, to play, to help me bathe him, to help me feed him. He does nothing himself. My mother says:
– You bet! At 46, you don’t have to be a father, you have to be a grandfather! What do you want from him?
But he and Jake are inseparable. Jake’s a student. They play computer games together and go fishing together. They constantly have lots of common topics of conversation and meet up all the time. My husband has a lot more fun with Jake than with our young son.
Jake, on the other hand, is 21 years old. He eats a lot. I don’t think his mom feeds him at all and that’s why he eats so much at our house. He eats everything! He even eats yesterday’s food with gusto.
I tried to talk to my husband about it and he says:
– Do you feel sorry for the food? Buy two chickens and cook! We have money! What, you don’t want potatoes and lettuce? They don’t cost much! I earn enough!
Of course, my husband also helps Jake with his money all the time.
This makes me terribly angry. I understand that Jake can manage the money he earns. But still, I can’t take it easy that K Jake is basically helping someone else’s kid. Where do I get the strength to endure all this and more? When will it all stop? Maybe when Jake is gone? But when would that be…
