I recently became a mom. Since my husband is consumed with work, the baby is mostly on me. In-laws can not help, because they live in another city. There is no extra money for a nanny, and it is scary to trust such a baby to a stranger. My best friend sometimes helps me out, but she has her own life.
I asked my mom for help. She has a part-time job, so she stays home most of the time. On weekends and holidays she always rests. She used to work in a prestigious position, but now she just cleans a government office.
Mom has agreed to come over for a few hours. She would come to my house, babysit my grandson, and then run to work. However, that was only a few times. Then my dad said he was against it. I tried to talk to him. He must understand, too, that it’s hard for me to be alone 24 hours a day with a small child.
– I don’t understand why you’re complaining? Babies sleep and eat. There’s no problem, you’re making it up. Learn not to be lazy and manage your time wisely. We didn’t whine when you were little, and we worked all the time. And you’re young, you expect help from your elderly parents,” answered my father.
That was exactly the answer I hadn’t expected from him. I was a calm and obedient child, so he had such false ideas. My son is my opposite. He is often naughty, begs to be held, sleeps little and over-eats. I even go to the toilet with him in my arms.
All night long my son hangs on my chest, so I only dream of normal sleep. I hoped that at least the house would be tidy if mom came. My dad’s position is unclear to me. There is no point in talking to him – he never compromises. He makes all the children the same, but you can’t do that.
Mom would like to help, but she has no desire to quarrel with Dad. I understand, so I don’t push. Yes, I had a baby for myself, but why can’t I ask for help? It’s not like I went to someone else’s aunt, I went to my mom.
I hope that soon it will get easier, because the baby is growing, getting smarter and adapting to life. I am comforted in the thought that things will get better soon. We’ll see. But I obviously didn’t expect this kind of thing from my father.
