Of course, I got used to the fact that my mother only calls me when she needs something from me. But it still hurts and hurts me a lot. And my mother calls me when she needs something and scolds me for rarely calling her and not coming to see her. And then she is sure to ask me for something.
My mother acted that way toward me all the time. She was never interested in what I thought, what I dreamed about, who I was friends with. My mother didn’t even know what I liked to eat. She just wondered if I was doing well in school, that’s all. And all the warmth, attention and care I received only from my grandmother.
When I turned 18, my mother packed my things and said that she had done her parental duty and now I should support myself and live separately. I started living with my grandmother and went to university. I wanted to work part-time, but my grandmother forbade me to do that. She said I had to study. She even forbade me to work part-time. We lived on my grandmother’s salary and her pension.
I had no contact with my mother all those years. Then I graduated from university and got a job. Grandma lived another five years, and then she died. Before she died, she gave me her apartment, so that my mother wouldn’t kick me out on the street later. My mother came to my grandmother’s funeral, but she didn’t help me in any way. I stayed in my grandmother’s apartment after that.
I didn’t speak to my mother for two years. Then she called me, and we started talking occasionally. And three months later my mother asked me to take out a loan for her, because she had no credit. But I refused to do it, because I don’t want to get involved with any banks at all. And especially not loans. After that my mother again forgot about my existence for a long time.
Then I met Adam. We dated for six months, and then we got married. My mom wasn’t at the wedding. I just couldn’t reach her. My mom didn’t call me until six months after I got married. She was very surprised that I got married and invited my husband and I to visit. When we came to visit her, she immediately started talking about how she needed to renovate her apartment.
I told her that we didn’t have any money or time for that, because we wanted to renovate our own apartment. After that, Mom disappeared for another year. During that time, Adam and I managed to become parents: I gave birth to a daughter. Mom never once took an interest in me or her granddaughter. And I decided after that to stop communicating with my mother altogether. Why step on the same rake over and over again and cause yourself unnecessary pain?
