I refused to communicate with my mother and did not regret it for a second. I put a lot of effort and spent a decent amount of money to get rid of dependence on this woman. I never saw my father. My mother always refused to talk about him. Until I was seven years old we lived with my grandmother, who hated me, and so I tried to cross paths with her as little as possible. My grandmother never missed an opportunity to hurt me and was always cursing me. After my mother had a man, we moved in with him. But there was never any place for me in that house either, as my stepfather also disliked me and always demanded that I not get in his way.
When I was in ninth grade my mother got pregnant, and then she and my stepfather had a son, who was the meaning of their lives. I hated my brother because my mother gave all her love and care only to him. Sometimes not very good thoughts came into my head, which frightened me a lot.
I think that my mother and stepfather suspected something, and that’s why they quickly sent me to college. Until I turned eighteen my parent gave me money from time to time, but after I came of age, she told me that now I had to clean myself out. By that time I had gotten a job, so I could do without her help. Then my mother demanded that I no longer come to them, because no one would be happy to see me. She didn’t specify who wasn’t happy – her or her husband.
I didn’t whine about it, but went to university, because I wanted to achieve something in this life and prove to my mother that she was wrong about me. I put all my energy into my studies and work. Sometimes I did call my mother, but she did not always pick up, but I never heard her voice happy to talk to me. One day my mother called me herself, which had never happened before. She was sobbing because her spouse had passed away. I immediately went to her house to be there for her when she was having a hard time. I made funeral arrangements, for which I spent all the money I was saving to buy a house.
It took a month for my mother to recover. During that time I was the sole breadwinner for the family. When I wanted to move in with my mother, she turned me down. Because of all this I got a deep depression and had to seek help from a specialist. It was unbearably hard for me, but I understood that the sessions with a psychoanalyst were my way to salvation.
The situation was aggravated by the fact that my mother started calling me from time to time, but she only did it when she needed my physical or material help. When I visited her, she would tell me about her son’s successes, but she didn’t care about my business. After these meetings, I had to put myself back together again piece by piece.
Of course it took a lot of effort and money, but I was still able to get some results. Two weeks ago my mother called me, but I didn’t answer the phone, and two days later I put her number on a blacklist. When I did this, I was emotionally calm and I didn’t have the usual urge to rush to her first call. I understand that everyone deserves to be forgiven, but I was already living for my mother, but she didn’t appreciate it, now I want to live only for myself. Also, I want to say about the fact that if I ever have a child, I now know what kind of mother I will never be!
