My five-year-old son became friends with the boy who lives next door. He is seven years old. They play together now. And my younger son, who is three, sticks around to play with them. Overall, they play fine, no fighting, no fighting, just a big mess of toys on the site.
So that was the weekend. We were in the house with my husband and two daughters playing a board game. My son walks in and asks if we, that is, my two boys and the neighbor boy, can play at home. The weather outside is nice, and we wanted to play in silence. So I said “no”. Then I heard it was not my son’s initiative, but the boy was persuading him to come to our house to play.
Half an hour goes by and the two of us come in. I said, “Go outside for a walk. If anything, we have plenty of toys there, much more than in the house. And my son says, “Mom, I’ll just show him our house and that’s it.” All right, I think, show him. I show him, and the boy doesn’t want to leave. “Can we play in your house?” “No,” I said, “go play outside, it’s not winter.
The next day a courier came to our house and brought our daughters’ clothes. We took the bags, went home to try them on. Suddenly, without knocking, the door opens and the boy next door comes in. And boldly walks towards the bathroom. And the room where the daughters changed clothes across the hall, and the door is not there, as it is a living room. And anyway, we weren’t expecting anybody to come. I said to him, “Please come out. The girls are changing in here.” He said, “I have to.” He went in there and quickly closed the door behind him. I was, frankly, stunned. This kid’s house is behind the fence, it takes him less than a minute to go to his bathroom. No, he has to go to our house. Then I asked my son why he was going into the house without asking. And he said, “So I let him.” That’s the whole conversation.
The next day. My youngest is sitting on the potty. And the older son has already run off to play with his friend. So this boy just came out of his house. Five minutes pass, and he enters the house. Naturally, without knocking. He just walks in like he’s in his own house, and he gives me the fact: “I’m going to the bathroom. I say, “It’s occupied.” He, seeing Junior there (the door was open) says, “Who?” I said, “That’s him.” The boy looked, hesitated for a while, and walked back towards the door.
I went in, let my son go, closed the door behind me. There was a persistent knock on the door. “Open up, I have to pee.” I thought the boy had gone home on business, but no. “I can’t,” I say. He said, “Why not?” What a question, what a childlike spontaneity. I said to him, “I have to do it myself. If you are so urgent, go to your house.
Silence, a few minutes pass, at the door again: “Well, you’re going to, I really want to. I was taken aback. I have a stranger’s kid at home kicking me out of the bathroom. I told him again: “So run to your house, you live close by. He said, “Oh, okay.” He ran away and two minutes later was already playing on our property again. Now, what was the point of breaking in, if your own family is near?
I asked my five-year-old, “What would you do if you had to go to the bathroom on someone else’s property?” He said, “I’d run home and then come back to play.” At least that’s good. It calmed the mother down.
And he seemed like a nice guy, not a bully. But he’s kind of inconsiderate, he doesn’t have any sense of boundaries. And the subject is so delicate that I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to say it directly – I don’t know how to choose words, I don’t want to ruin their childhood friendship over it. But I also do not think it’s right to allow them to violate their boundaries.
And what would you do in such a situation?
