My sister and my dad and mom have been married together for 41 years, and just recently we found out that they were getting a divorce. Yes, that’s right – divorcing after so much time together. Mom is 72 years old and dad is 74. Imagine that. Of course, it’s very hard on my sister and me. It’s hard because they’re not old enough to live alone anymore. And they’ve lived together all their lives. How can they give up on someone who has been tested by time and circumstance?
In short, more than once I tried to reconcile them, to remind them that life was coming to an end and that it was necessary to have a relative by their side. My sister also tried to do her part, but it didn’t work out. Mom also keeps talking about how she is tired of Dad and wants to be alone better than with someone like our father. So what’s the point of the divorce? The point is that Mom claims that she’s tired of having to take care of her husband all her life. Because from the time they got married, my mother immediately took over the household, and then for the upbringing of my sister and me, my father went to work.
That’s how unconsciously they divided responsibilities between them. All her life my mother did everything by herself, no matter if my father had a day off or a vacation, everything was always her responsibility. My father never lifted a finger to take care of my mother, except to earn money and make a living. He would come home from work, put his feet down on the couch, and yell at the whole apartment, saying, “I want my mother to carry this and that. He also liked to make a row about something, if my mother didn’t have time for it somewhere, or if she didn’t put enough salt in the food.
Quarrels are questionable, because everyone has a right to make a mistake, especially a woman who has two children to raise. But for some reason it didn’t matter to Dad. And, of course, I’m on my mom’s side on this issue. I have a husband like that myself. He only works, it’s better not to touch him for other matters. Other women will also say that it’s good that he works – we should kiss his feet for it. But no, partners should help each other. Yes, and everyday life and raising children – it’s exactly the same job, only it does not pay, and it you squander a lot of your moral and physical strength, unlike the usual work.
As for my side, she is on my father’s side. She thinks that my mother herself is to blame for such a state of affairs, because she should have gone to work, become equal with my father, then there would have been no such division. And since she chose this life herself, that’s her problem. But divorce isn’t the answer either, we should keep the family together. My sister and I have already had many fights on this ground, she stands her ground and I stand my ground.
My father sometimes regrets that he didn’t pay enough attention to my mother, didn’t help her enough, but then after a while he says exactly the same thing as my sister. Like, it’s mom’s own fault. But is it really Mom’s fault? We had a fairly friendly and happy family. How is it that in one moment, when my mother realized her identity, everything collapsed.
