When Ivan met Galina and found out about all her accomplishments in life, plus the fact that she was a certified cardiologist, he realized that this was exactly the kind of wife he needed. Yes, she was not beautiful like the cover, she did not dress in a particularly stylish way, and something told him that she was quite conservative. But that wasn’t much of a problem for him. After all, a doctor, after all, a doctor’s wife – it was convenient and pleasant. Why not?!
The weekdays of their family life began with the fact that Galina began to work on a healthy diet. Ivan had a healthy porridge in the morning, then a snack of fruit, and for lunch and dinner fish or meat with vegetables and a small side dish. A few hours before bedtime he could not eat, except for some sour milk. Galina argued that a healthy diet is the key to a healthy life. How could Ivan contradict her! It was the doctor who told him.
Every day Galya asked Ivan how he was feeling, if he had any pain, as soon as she noticed the redness on his cheeks – immediately took his temperature and tested for allergies. His wife said it was best to grab the disease by the head, so it would be easier to treat if anything was wrong.
Ivan was proud to be looked after and cared for so much. But not for long. A few months later the man noticed that his wife was very fond of him and his health. Didn’t she have enough patients at work that she decided to play doctor-patient with him day in and day out!
Then they decided they wanted a baby. And then the real katavassiya began – the wife took her husband to get tested for all sorts of diseases, then they checked his genetics. At home she got herself a urologist and checked whether his reproductive organs were working, from time to time grabbing his crotch when he didn’t expect it. What not morning, the first question was, “How did you pee and what kind of stool did you have – liquid, firm, whatever?” All the time they were planning the pregnancy Ivan was forbidden to drink any alcohol or even smoke a cigarette – after all, they were making a baby, which means the source “material” had to be of high quality.
It got to the point where even a burp had to go out to the bathroom so his wife wouldn’t hear. Otherwise, she would immediately pester me with questions and lay me on my bunk, palpating my abdomen. Galina was even more scrupulous about herself. All she did was to stick her thermometer, measure her temperature to find out whether she was pregnant or not. Ivan couldn’t stand it – he divorced her.
“What a fool! What a fool! He left such a girl, huh?! Red diploma, smart, intellectual. He dragged some Zinka, a salesgirl from the back alley, into bed with her. “The fool… ugh!” – Ivan was discussed by everyone who could not get a word in edgewise.
Yes, he married the salesgirl Zina. She made a good cabbage soup, let him go fishing, smoked cigarettes, and sometimes drank wine and ate bacon. Zina never asked silly questions and loved Ivan as he was – the real Ivan she loved.
