I was the oldest child in the family. There were five of us in the family. And since I was the oldest, all the responsibilities for younger siblings fell on me. And my parents were working. But as a child I wanted at least some free time, I could only dream about it.
Even with my friends I didn’t get on well, nobody wanted to be friends with me, they all made jokes and called me names. Sometimes my psyche couldn’t take it, and I started screaming that I didn’t want to and wouldn’t sit with my brothers and sisters anymore, screaming that I wanted to go out, find friends, etc. Only then I would get a beating from my father for such tantrums.
And he was always ready. I got in trouble for any of my faults, and my fault was that if I didn’t watch out for someone, I forgot all about my childhood at the age of five. Immediately after finishing ninth grade I was sent to learn to be a chef. Of course I did not dream of such a profession. But my parents thought that with such a profession my family would always be well fed.
After graduation I immediately went to work in a cafe. When I came home after my first shift, they pounced on me again. Because I hadn’t brought anything home from the cafe, and they were all waiting. My father yelled at me as usual. They called me a simpleton who is not capable of anything. And she came home hungry from work. And I can’t just take someone else’s money.
They had already allocated my first salary for the future, my brothers and sisters needed to buy some more things and groceries. But as soon as I got it, I went to the train station and bought a ticket for the first bus to who knows where. I had no more strength to live like that. Yes, it was scary, but I didn’t want to stay at my parents’ house either.
Of course it was hard, but it was also easier. My life was mine alone. No one was in charge of it, and I could do whatever I wanted. I worked a lot, as a cleaner and a dishwasher, and then I was invited to work as a cook.
So since then my life was fine, there were no difficulties with money, I got used to saving. I even tried to save, I really wanted my own place. I lived with my elderly grandmother, she was very kind old lady, always took pity on me and fed me. For which I am very grateful to her. In those moments I was truly happy!
Three years later I met my husband. We humbly started a new family, I moved in with his parents. They took it easy. Relationships with them were good. First we had a daughter, and then a little son. My daughter had a full-fledged childhood, I never made her sit with my little brother, only if she wanted to.
And then I started having dreams, like I was visiting my parents, and they were very different, not like before. So kind and loving. I decided that I needed to visit them after all. We decided to go with my husband and children this weekend.
We picked up a variety of gifts and headed out to see them. But the only thing was that my dreams weren’t vivid. They started to yell at me from the door and accuse me of all the sins, that I am an ungrateful pig.
They didn’t even look at my grandchildren. It was clear that they wanted to have time to pour out on me as much negative, apparently accumulated over the years. After listening for another minute I told my husband we were leaving! And yes, I took the bags of groceries and gifts back. I don’t know what it looks like from the outside, but the last time I saw them, I would never set foot in that house again.
