My mother has never wanted to help me look after her own grandchildren, and I get very upset about it, because I can barely cope with two little ones myself, who need constant care and supervision.
I do not know why the mother began to behave this way. It is more likely that we are uncomfortable asking each other for things because we have stopped communicating since I moved out of her house when I was eighteen. And now, when I call her hoping she’ll be supportive or just listen to me, my mom just tells me after two minutes on the phone that she has to go somewhere and has important plans of her own.
Even as a teenager, she wanted to make me a fully independent person, but I don’t think this is quite right, because at eighteen, when I left home, it took a lot of effort to find a job and start paying for a small one-room rented apartment, because I needed somewhere to live.
The reason for my mother’s constant refusals to spend time with my children was men. At that age it is not too late to look for a spouse, I even understand her in some ways, but when it takes all the time, it is completely abnormal. My grandchildren really want to see their grandmother, but she each time comes up with new excuses not to come to see me.
Once again, after she refused to come to visit me, I couldn’t stand it anymore and snapped at her, because I couldn’t take it anymore. At that age, you can already sit with your grandchildren, and not look for a spouse in retirement. Her mother did not keep quiet either, answering that all her youth she had worked hard every day and raised her children, and that now she should have time for herself, which she had not had ten years ago. And grandchildren, she said, should not hang on grandmother.
Of course, you can understand my mother, because she really paid a lot of attention to me when I was young, but even now, when she goes out with men every day, it does not mean that you have to abandon your family and completely stop communicating with everyone. I’ve been noticing more and more lately that my mom has been kind of cold to me and avoiding any meetings more and more each time. For the last two years I have been seeing her only once a month.
I don’t need her to spend all her old age with me, but why is it so hard to come and visit once a week at least and sit for a day. I wouldn’t want to lose contact with my loved one at all. How can I explain to her that the meaning of life is not just going on dates with different guys at almost retirement age?
I’m already thinking that we shouldn’t quarrel anymore, it would be better if she could find her other half and be happy, and then we can establish relations with her.
