I was born and raised in a Muslim family. As a teenager, I dreamed of marrying my friend who lived nearby. However, my dreams never came true. My parents didn’t even want to hear about him, and there was nothing I could do.
As a result, I was married off against my will.
Who cared about my happiness anyway? My mother got married the same way, only she put up with it, and I didn’t. A few days before the wedding my neighbor even wanted to steal me away. I sincerely hoped that he would succeed. But my father found out about his intentions, and I had to forget about the idea.
– If you change your mind about getting married, I will disown you forever. And if I see you with another guy, you’re both going to be in trouble! – My father told me.
I married a rich man, but I still can’t love him.
My parents are happy that he is well-off and his relatives are not poor. Yes, I have no right to complain about the financial side of life: the children are well off, we never go hungry. But otherwise, it’s not like that.
My husband, Iskander, never took much interest in me. He wanted heirs and never hid it. For the first few years of our life together I had no right to go out at all without his accompaniment. He only allowed his girlfriends to visit from time to time.
At the same time, Iskander often liked to disappear into the unknown, even for a week. Of course, there was no apology on his part.
– I don’t have to tell you anything, your mission is to bring up children,” he used to answer me.
For some reason, he often interrogated me and got jealous. Though he had so many affairs that I can’t even list them all. Sometimes he even brought some of them to visit, saying that they were just his colleagues. For a long time I had no right to go online.
Only a few years ago I persuaded him to let me get in touch with my relatives. One day I decided to have a serious talk with my husband.
– Iskander, we have no feelings for each other. Why do we need this relationship? – I asked him.
– What kind of nonsense are you talking? You and I have children and a family.
– That’s definitely not a family! You don’t know where you are. You think I don’t know that you cheat on me all the time?
– You have no right to say that to me at all. Do you want to end up on the street?
– You know, I don’t want anything anymore, to be honest…
– I never promised you I’d be faithful! – he said.
That’s my life. I sit at home all the time, raise my kids, and live with a man I never loved. I rarely go out, I don’t even have any goals or purpose in life. I just want to disappear and stop this meaningless existence.
We recently went to my parents’ house for our wedding anniversary. And do you know who I saw? That neighbor! He was divorced – he couldn’t love anyone else. Now he lives on his own. I just don’t know what to do. Why do I have such a life? Is it my destiny?
