I originally got married not for love, but because I needed the money. My parents found an enviable groom, who didn’t know what he wanted from life, but I had money… a lot!
After I got married, I didn’t deny myself anything. He spoiled me, let me spend a lot of money and often made expensive gifts and took me to restaurants. But I did not love him any more. I was not attracted to him externally, and in general I was bored with him. Fortunately, he spent a lot of time at work, and I often went out with my girlfriends.
After a couple of years of being together, he started talking about having kids. He wanted a big family, and that got me thinking. Did I really want to be stuck with him forever? I wasn’t a girl anymore, but I was still young enough to try my luck and find true love in life. His words about children only put me off, and I suggested a divorce. He probably had plenty of chances to find his one and have children with her, too.
He was upset, but even accelerated the process of divorce. Since we were on good terms, I did not demand the division of the property, because it was his personal property. And I really regretted it afterwards.
I was so used to living at someone else’s expense that no job suited me. I didn’t like it, it was hard, I didn’t work anywhere for more than a week. After a friend helped me get a job as a waitress in a good restaurant, but I was not happy with that place either. And it got even worse when my ex-husband came there with his new partner, and I had to serve them.
My husband was very surprised to see me in this role, but for my sake he pretended not to know me. He spoiled his friend the same way he spoon-fed me.
Maybe I was self-serving, but I realize now that it was better with my husband. Whether I loved him or not, as long as he provided for me and I knew no problems, I should have stayed with him. It is possible that my feelings and affection for him would have grown stronger over time, and that having children together would have brought us closer together.
I really regret leaving him. And now I realize that it would be too low to beg him to take me back, especially now that he is actively dating someone else. I can only hope that I meet someone else or the ex himself will try his luck and somehow talk to me about a second chance.
