My husband Erik left me recently. I was left alone with two small children. And my mother encouraged me with those exact words. She says I turned into a hippo. I’ve always been overweight. And my mother always scolded me for every extra kilogram.
Of course, I exercised, I didn’t eat sweets, but it was very difficult for me to keep my weight down. It was especially difficult for me when I was a teenager: I was always hungry. And my mother strictly monitored how much I ate and at what time.
– What are you doing? Where are you going to go to the fridge at this hour? Your father died at 40, his mother died at 60, all because you ate too much! Do you want to repeat their fate? You haven’t even finished school yet, and you’re already so fat! Look, you’ve already got fat on your sides! That’s what you look like! – my mother kept telling me.
It was easy for her to say that, because she had never had a problem with being overweight. And I managed to keep my weight before pregnancy. I got married very slim. True, before that I sat on a strict diet for six months. Buckwheat and kefir were my main meals. My husband exercises all the time. He is very slim. We began to stick to the right diet. When I got pregnant, I was always hungry. And the doctor told me:
– You don’t need to think about your weight right now! You have to think about yourself and the health of your unborn child! That’s where will you get your strength from if you eat only fruits, vegetables and drink kefir?
My husband agreed with this and said that I should try to have a healthy baby.
– You will definitely lose weight when you quit breastfeeding. And I will help you get back in shape! – My husband promised me.
I gained weight during my first pregnancy, but not by much. My husband even said he liked the way I looked. Except that my mother was again very unhappy with my appearance. And when our daughter was only a year old, I got pregnant again. My husband really wanted a son, so he said I had to have this baby too.
– Don’t worry, you’ll have your second baby and then we’ll get right into making sure you lose weight. Everything will be done so that you start to lose the extra weight! – My husband reassured me.
But the second pregnancy was very difficult. I gained a lot of weight. The doctors said that it was okay, that my body had not yet had time to recover from the first pregnancy. They promised me that I would definitely lose the extra weight after delivery. But, unfortunately, their prognosis did not come true. Our son is a year and a half now. And I still have not lost a single pound.
Of course, I try to eat right, I do sports. But I still have not managed to lose weight.
My husband is very unhappy with the way I look. He tells me to move more and eat less. But I already eat very little and move a lot. After all, I have two small children in my arms! But recently my husband told me that he was not attracted to me as a woman and he filed for divorce. Yerik pays child support and sometimes comes to see them. I went back to live with the kids at my mom’s. Of course, I hoped my mother would support me. But she’s always scolding me:
– It’s all your own fault and you ruined your own marriage! All because you didn’t take care of yourself and you looked like a hippo! Because of that, you’re alone! And your children will grow up without a father! Erik was right to leave you! – my mother scolds me.
It is very hard for me, both mentally and physically. I do not have my own place, my children are small, and so it will be a while before I get out of maternity leave. How frustrating that my mother does not understand how much I need her support right now. And she only scolds me and reproaches me…
