Now we often hear that modern grandmothers are very different: they sit with grandchildren, refuse to bake pies, and no longer knit scarves to grandchildren, as they have their own life. Today’s grandmothers live by the principle, “We did not ask you to give birth, so you cope with your children yourself. However, sometimes there are unforeseen situations in which they can’t do without the help of their grandmothers for young parents.
A friend of mine has a two-year-old daughter did not go to kindergarten, and because of a virus both parents were out of work. The family was saved by the allowance, and then both parents were invited to work. The couple turned to grandmothers for help. The story will be told in the first person.
“We, when we decided to have a baby, counted only on our own strength and tried not to bother our grandmothers. Our grandmothers came to visit whenever they wanted and everyone was fine with it. But then it turned out that the spouse was out of work, and I was on maternity leave, we had to survive on welfare. However, it is clear that it is silly to live with the hope of the allowance – and so both my husband and I were actively engaged in looking for work.
And then we were lucky and my spouse was invited to work, I also found a job and was engaged in one-time preparation and organization of events, especially glad that they became in high demand. Despite the fact that the income was not permanent, I was paid more than fine, in addition, there was the prospect of working on a permanent basis.
A year ago I would have hired a nanny, but now we had no such opportunity, because we did not have an extra penny, and in the house of strangers not too wanted to let in because of the pandemic. In this situation I realized that relatives know each other.
Both my mother and my husband’s mother had long been retired. My mother always happily responded to all requests to babysit our little girl, even though she didn’t have my daughter as her only granddaughter. Unlike my mother, my mother-in-law had our baby girl as her only granddaughter, but she didn’t see her more than once every few months. When I asked my husband’s mother for help, she told me:
“Let your mother sit with your granddaughter, and I need to pick up and close the cucumbers. So it turns out that for mother-in-law, pickles are more important than the only granddaughter? But we did not offer my husband’s mother to baby-sit our daughter for free.
I know very well that it is more important to watch the cucumbers grow than it is to watch my granddaughter grow. That day I realized that my mother is my mother and I will always be a stranger to my husband’s mother, but I think this attitude will definitely backfire on her.
What do you think?
