For six months now, my husband and I have been paying my mother to help us with the baby. We are fine with it, but my mother-in-law resents it, how is it possible to take money from the children for helping with our own grandson? But I think that any work should be paid, especially considering what my mother does for us.
We had a bad situation about a year ago. My husband was laid off from the job that was providing for us, so the family council made the difficult decision to leave maternity leave to me. My son was one year old at the time.
Of course, it did not suit me or my husband, but we had a mortgage and a small child, so we had to make do. Although my going to work was not a panacea, we were barely making ends meet. Since my husband was babysitting, he was unable to go to job interviews and fully search for work. Each month it became harder and harder to make ends meet financially.
That’s when we rushed to my parents for help. We asked them to babysit their grandson for a couple of months so my husband could get a job and then we would hire a nanny. We just do not have enough money for that yet.
Everyone sympathized with us, sighed and sighed, but could not help, because all the parents were still working. We were spinning like squirrels in a wheel, but it wasn’t getting any easier financially, but after two months my mom came to the rescue.
She said she had worked a minimum length of service and could retire. The only thing she asked for was to pay her utilities, because on her pension alone she would not be able to stretch out, and the benefits she was not entitled to. We gladly jumped at the offer.
Mom began to come to us every day, I went to work, and my husband went on interviews. Within a week, he had already landed a job. Of course, it couldn’t even compare to his previous job in terms of salary, but it was still better than nothing. The more so, he continued to monitor vacancies and looked for more profitable options.
At home my mother was the manager, in a good sense of the word. Besides babysitting her grandson, she managed to do some light cleaning, ironing, washing, and cooking during the day. So when I came home, I didn’t have to rush to the stove or rush to iron the laundry. It relieved a lot of stress on my day.
I was uncomfortable with my mother’s plodding, but she said she didn’t mind, and at least it made the day go by faster. But I still didn’t feel comfortable.
I talked to my husband, he agreed that my mother took over all the household problems plus even helps with the child from day to day. So in addition to paying for utilities was decided to pay my mom a kind of salary. Thanks to her help, I was able to go on a raise, because I do not run on sick leave and can fully immerse themselves in the work. And my husband also earns more, because there is an opportunity to take work at home. After all, I don’t need his help in the evenings, I can take care of my son myself without being torn between the stove and cleaning.
When I voiced this option to my mother, she first refused for a long time, saying that it was wrong, she did not want to take the money. But my husband and I managed to convince her that she does a lot, and thanks to her our life has become easier, and the money is not a handout, but is honestly earned by her.
In the end she agreed to take the money. Everyone is happy – my house is clean, orderly, with good food and a well-kept child, and my mom has no financial problems. Everything is great.
Unhappy only mother-in-law. Mom herself told her that we are now paying her for help. When asked why I told her, mom got embarrassed and said that it was just a matter of the word. They were discussing a trip to the sea, and Mom boasted that she would soon be able to save up for a trip. My mother-in-law was surprised and started asking her how she managed to do it, and she told her.
My mother-in-law first told my mother that it was wrong to do that to my own children, and then she came to us to share her opinion. She said that there had never been anything like this in families, that we should help them for free, but my husband cut her off with one phrase, reminding her that she had completely frozen off the topic when we needed help.
She kind of nailed it, but she still periodically laments that Mom is ripping us off. And I think she’s just jealous that things worked out so well for both of us. I wish we could, but we can’t. But, as my grandmother used to say, the snotty ones get a kiss in time.
