“After forty your life has just begun, and at 50 you’re suddenly a grandmother!”
I won’t see a peaceful retirement. Who decided that the fate of every grandmother is to look after her grandchildren? Maybe I don’t need it. Maybe I finally learned to live for myself and enjoy each day?
I am 56 years old. I raised two sons and a daughter. I think I have something to be proud of. My oldest son has a wife and a daughter. The middle son is about to start a family. My daughter is graduating from university and is in no hurry to tell me the details of her personal life.
I love my children, but lately their behavior surprises me. My eldest son asks to take his grandson on weekends too often. I love spending time with the little guy, taking care of him. But I know that while I am taking care of my grandson, my son and wife are out having fun with friends.
The children themselves admitted that they lacked holidays and freedom. After all, they’re still so young and don’t want to stay home early. But I also want to enjoy life.
I, too, sometimes want to go to a cafe with a friend, dance in a club or do yoga. I’ve been thinking about taking the time to educate myself and learn something completely new. I’m not comfortable being attached to my grandson.
And then the middle son “pleased” me with the fact that they are expecting a new addition to the family soon.
– Mom, now you will not be bored alone! We’re going to have a baby soon.
Naturally, I was happy for them and sincerely congratulated them. But what makes them think I’m lonely and bored? I raised my children! Now I live for myself! I do not know how I would react if a daughter comes to me with this news.
Lately I’ve been wondering how to explain to my kids that I don’t want to babysit my grandchildren all the time. I’m happy to have grandchildren, I can help out sometimes, but I’m not going to do it all my time. I’m not the kind of grandmother who can’t imagine her life without her grandchildren.
I want to live my own life. Who decided for me that I should babysit my grandchildren? Maybe I would be a little more relaxed if my sons at least asked if I could and wanted to babysit their children. But so far they are just confronting me with a fait accompli.
Some might call me selfish. But I’m not. Is wanting to live for yourself after raising three children selfish?
