Elizabeth was just a baby when Daddy left her for another woman. She heard her mother crying and cried softly into her pillow. But she didn’t tell her mother about it – she didn’t want to upset her. And the man didn’t care about anything. He got married a second time and was happy again.
Elizabeth blamed her father for everything, but she really wanted her parents to reconcile. She wanted her father to live with his new family like their country watchman. Yes, they had a keeper at the cottage. Only instead of guarding the property, he was stealing. So they chased him away. Elisabeth wanted her father to be a “loner.” That was the word she’d heard from her mother.
And so their world narrowed down to just Elizabeth and her mother. The little girl tried everything she could to keep her mother from crying. But she sobbed and pushed her daughter away.
One day a grandmother from the village came to visit them. Elizabeth did not like her grandmother very much. She had some strange games, too. For example, who would be the fastest to weed the garden bed. And the relative often argued with her mother, behaved rudely and was rude.
– Why are you killing yourself? Live for your daughter’s sake,” the grandmother shouted at her mother.
– You can’t replace your husband with your daughter,” she answered.
After this phrase, Elisabeth had a change of heart. She did not quite understand the meaning of the words, but decided that her mother needed a “he” and not a “she” to be happy. A child’s brain paraphrased the attitude: “I don’t need a daughter, I need a man. And she used to think that her mother was not happy without her.
Relationships have deteriorated sharply. Elizabeth withdrew into herself. She could stare at one point for hours, inventing things to do, but she did not go near her mother. And her mother didn’t even notice the changes. And even if she did, she blamed her husband. She did not want to help her daughter, she waited until her pain subsided.
Her mother worked, took care of the house, did everything on automatic. On weekends she lay flat and didn’t even get out of bed. And Elizabeth suffered even more. She had lost not only her father, but also her mother. If the parting with her father was less painful for the girl, after the words of her mother, it was as if a piece of her heart was torn off. A random phrase – and how many consequences.
Other than that, her father wasn’t her own. It was her stepfather. It turns out that a stranger was more related than her own daughter… Of course, this resulted in a complicated psychological trauma.
It took 20 years. Relationships with my mom improved. Elizabeth became a doctor, gave birth to two children. She communicated with her parent, trusted her grandchildren, but did not forget about that fatal phrase.
Somehow, Elisabeth was going through a very difficult period. Things were not going well at work, the children were sick, money was tight. She sent the children to bed and came into the kitchen. Her husband was standing by the window, nervously smoking. It seemed strange, since he had given up that bad habit long ago. A large suitcase stood beside it.
– Are you going to your parents’ house?
– No.
– Where are you going?
– It doesn’t matter.
– What do you mean?
– I’m leaving.
Elizabeth realized that her husband was leaving her, just as her father had left her. Something stung inside, splitting her heart in two.
– Forever? – …Elisabeth let it out.
– Yes. I tried to save this relationship, but alas. You think only of your patients. I won’t leave my daughters, I’ll help them.
– Does your woman have kids?
– Two. Why?
– Nothing.
Elizabeth took a cigarette from her husband and smoked. He has another woman now and other children who are less sick. Probably.
Elizabeth’s mother heard a clap and came into the kitchen.
– What happened? – she asked.
– He’s gone.
– You’ll get over it.
– No, Mom. I’ll die without him.
– No. Everything will be all right. I’m not dead.
– But I’m not as strong as you are.
– Daughter, you just haven’t realized your strength yet. Cheating doesn’t kill you. And you have two children.
– You can’t replace your husband with children.
– I know, but life goes on. Nothing will change for you, there just won’t be one. You’re bound to meet a man you’ll love just as much. Remember, I had a dog at the cottage. He was always shitting in the house, and there was no way I could change his ways. Then I said I would never get a dog again. It’s not right. Just because your husband hurt you doesn’t mean all men are bad. You will find someone in your life who can love not only you but also your children.
Elizabeth looked at her mother and lowered her eyes. She suddenly realized that lately she had been living only for work. She had left her children with her mother, put all the household chores on her, while she herself cured other people at the cost of her own family.
That day she forgave her mother. She realized that she had gone through the same emotions as her mother. It would be hard for her now, but she would do anything to prevent her children from repeating her fate.
Whatever happens in life, you have to keep yourself in mind. Your husband may leave, your children may grow up, but you always have yourself.
