Met a friend the other day, wandering down the street with her 1.5 year old daughter, and not noticing anything around her. If I had not called out, probably would have passed by. When she saw me, at first she was happy, but then again there was some kind of detachment and indifference on her face. I asked what it was about, and heard a whole confession about family relationships.
It was a marriage of love, with beautiful courtship and generous gifts, the first year after the wedding, her husband blew out the dust, and during pregnancy, almost carried her in his arms.
My daughter was born and everything changed dramatically. My husband saw with his own eyes what a little child is, and I had to see it all the time; he worked at home in Internet sales, and I had to be constantly distracted. Of course, the lion’s share of care for the baby lay with his wife, but the husband got a lot.
Realizing that his wife is on maternity leave, and the total family income is significantly reduced, the husband began to shift all the care of the child to his wife, and then, when he got his way, went to the second part of his “performance. He began to demand from his wife to go to her previous job and leave the care of their daughter to her grandmothers.
No amount of explaining that grandmothers could not cope with such a small child could convince her husband, who wanted more money. He went through all the options, up to and including 24-hour nursery, did not approach the child on principle, and did not give his wife any money, doing what he thought was necessary on his own.
The atmosphere in the house became, to put it mildly, tense, and my wife began to strive to be less often in the family walls, wandering with my daughter in the parks and playgrounds. In this state, and I met her.
A friend desperately asked what she should do, but what could I advise her? A divorce? Not an option, she was very attached to her husband, in spite of all his shenanigans. Besides, her daughter was growing up, and I did not want to cut her off so that she could grow up in a full family. But also to tolerate further reproaches for the unwillingness to earn money was not strong.
When we said goodbye, I confined myself to general phrases like “hang in there”, “everything will be fine”, “everything will work out”, etc. I hope it will.
