This is what happens when events in life make us look at it in a different way. Some things can break our psyche even in our early youth.
Of course, Maria never had full confidence. She always thought she was growing up in a normal family, and she didn’t understand exactly who Daddy was and why he was always running from one apartment to another. But in fact, her daddy was doing his job as a parent, and so the child didn’t question him at all.
It was clear that Daddy loved her and had no difficulty at all. Girlfriends from the yard at a certain point in her life began to ask why her father did not live at home and was so often seen with someone else, not in the company of Maria’s mother. Maria understood nothing. Everyone looked at her sympathetically. It seemed to her that people could not pay their attention to this, and since Maria herself decided to behave very calmly, no one should notice that something was going wrong.
Then Maria wondered what family life was all about in the first place, and she wondered why her father was really doing this and living with a woman other than Maria’s mother. All this was strange to her because Maria was little and she did not want to ask such questions, but because of the strong and constant gossip, she became the one who heard the first words such as “cheating”, “father living with another woman”, “two families” about her family. All of this was completely incomprehensible to her.
In fact, Maria realized that she even had two mothers, because Aunt Sarah, who lived downstairs, she was often at our house and Mom had a very nice conversation with her, Aunt Sarah even played with Maria and in general always helped her with her lessons, if Mom worked longer than she was supposed to. So Maria didn’t think at her eight years old that it might be strange and she thought that it should be, that this was what family life was called.
So after a while, when the conversations got a lot and the kids just wouldn’t let up and didn’t want to give Maria a pass. And children can be very cruel, even at a very young age. Then at such times she started asking Maria questions, she began to wonder why exactly that was, and why Daddy lived downstairs on the floor, and sometimes slept over at their house.
And Mom would answer that that was the way their family was. It was very strange, but one day, her mother told her that when she grew up, she would understand everything. That’s when Maria realized that it was really strange and she wanted to grow up to understand everything, so she wanted to grow up as soon as possible.
Daddy didn’t understand why Maria was resenting him, walking by and seeing his daughter’s sullen face. It was very strange, because she didn’t want her father to see what she was thinking, but she couldn’t hide her resentment toward him, because it was beyond her strength. Then, a couple of years later, Maria realized that life could be much more interesting and that families in general could be very different. It was amazing, but no one ever understood what someone like Maria could be like when she grew up.
So she was secretive and always thought that she didn’t know what a normal family was. Her father was very supportive when he started living in two families and it was a turning point in her life. So working with psychologists was a very important aspect of her life. It’s important to understand that these situations are all over the place. And there are cases where fathers don’t just live in two families, but openly cheat on their women and then come home and tell them what they did and the wife has to forgive the husband, especially when she finds out what he is like.
It would be strange to look at such people with a note of understanding, because they need a psychologist themselves and he has to deal with such issues. So to this day, Maria deals with her childhood traumas, which then affected her so much and also affected her first relationship, which is very real. It was strange to pay attention to this and in general, it was possible to talk about various topics, but the children in the yard were very cruel and this was a special moment. In general it would have been hard to talk about what a real marriage was like, Maria would not have understood it at that age anyway, but at least she understood that they had a strange family model and needed to find words for her child in such difficult moments. So it was strange for her to realize that her mother didn’t hear her and everyone lived as if everything was fine and no one thought about how it might affect the family and what would be in store for the child who grew up that way in the future. It’s important, it’s important to think about children at times like this.
