Helena would come from a small town. It was there that Amur’s arrows struck her. Helena fell in love with Alex, and he fell in love with her. Then they decided that they would flee their small motherland. They then told their parents that they were going to the capital to earn money for the wedding feast. And they actually went to earn money. But then they decided not to spend money on the wedding.
They had enough of the capital’s youth, who come to their own weddings in sneakers and jeans, and accept gifts only in money, and instead of a wedding feast they arrange a buffet, or even make do with an online conference, and they spend the gift money on a mortgage payment.
That’s what Helena and Alex did. However, their mothers, when they came to their native places, threw them a modest banquet. And they did not have any acquaintances in Moscow. However, all this does not apply to the case, I have told you all this just to make you have an idea of the spouses, and you could imagine what kind of character they have …
It has been five years since the wedding. The couple decided to wait with the children, so they had to pay the mortgage together. Helena’s mother was militant, she raised her daughter alone, and with every phone call she did not forget to remind her that she was absolutely ready for her grandchildren. However, Helena knew that if they lived with her mother, they would quickly disperse. There was no time pressure, so they took their time with the children.
And then Helena began to have resentments against her husband, which she had had before, but before that she could switch gears. She called me:
– He talks on the phone with others for a long time, but with me hello-bye and that’s it…
– When he comes home from work, you’ll talk a lot.
– I want to watch a quiet movie about love after work, and he just stared at his horror movies.
– How many TVs do you have? Although nowadays you can watch movies on the computer with headphones. But it’s not family life if the two are side by side and their heads are in different places.
– That’s exactly what I think! I don’t think Alex understands me!
– That’s quite an original claim.
– Why are you laughing?
– All right, I won’t.
– Helena, when do you have a good time together?
– When we’re on vacation or when we have guests… He’s so attentive on such days…
My conversation with Helena lasted almost an hour. She told me how they met, and how she was the envy of all the girls. From our conversation I understood that the problem was that Helena had an unrealized feminine need to show off in front of others, because in Moscow she had nobody to show off to. That was the first problem, and the second…
– Helena, how do you see the perfect marriage?
– Obligorously with children.
– Well, it is customary to talk about children, but after having children many marriages fall apart…
– My spouse should be interested in what my mood is, how I’m doing at work… He should be able to assess my outfit and praise my cooking…
– Doesn’t he evaluate it in any way?
– No, he says it was good, but it’s not good enough for me.
– Now tell me in detail … He came home, you feed him, and what … For example, you put him, mashed potatoes with cutlets, and he …
– He starts rubbing his hands together and smiling.
– But it’s also kind of a compliment! I think you would have been uncomfortable if he pushed away his plate and told you squeamishly that he was not hungry…
Helena was silent; I don’t think she fully understood the whole point of her complaint. But somehow or other she resented her spouse. What exactly she was dissatisfied with, I have long understood. To confirm my guesses, I asked the girl about her relationship with her mother.
I learned that her mother was an emotional woman. She was always pestering her with all kinds of questions. When things were going wrong, she would be sure to support Helena and tell her that everything was going to be okay.
You can sometimes hear that we marry those who are like our parents and also those who will give us plenty of love. Helena didn’t have a father, and so she couldn’t even think that not all people are so brightly capable of expressing their emotions.
I then told Helena that she had actually been married to her mother for five years and expected her spouse to copy her behavior exactly. At first Helena was surprised by this, but after some thought she agreed.
– So how do I get a divorce from my mom?
– And it’s easy. Every time you have a grudge, you imagine that Alex has nothing to do with it, because it’s not him but your caring mother who is there for you. And he can’t compete with her!
– And that’s it!
– That’s all! And then you’ll see that the resentment will disappear by itself!
