My mother-in-law’s logic is very unusual, very special. Only my mother-in-law herself understands it. My husband and I were helped to buy an apartment, so now we have to help them too. This might sound logical, were it not for one nuance: my husband’s in-laws had nothing to do with the fact that we bought the apartment. My parents and grandmother helped us with the money. However, my mother-in-law assures me that it is her family that we should help.
After we got married, my husband’s brother, the eldest, lived with my mother-in-law, along with his wife and baby. The apartment there is a two-room apartment, so after Jake got married, Robert went off on his own bread. His mother-in-law argued that he was capable of getting by on his own, but Jake and his wife needed to raise money for their own place. And so they had been collecting for ten years. And still nothing.
I generally didn’t care how my husband’s brother lived. There was even a silver lining to this situation: my mother-in-law wasn’t interested in me at all. At first she kept going to work, then she settled down at home with her grandchildren while my sister-in-law tried to get a job somehow.
Robert and I talked it over and decided that we should buy an apartment first, and then have children. My parents approved of this decision.
– Save as much as you can, and then we’ll help you when you decide to buy,” Dad said.
We did not insist that my parents help us, but we did not refuse the generous offer. We worked, we saved up. Four years later, we managed to accumulate a pretty good sum, enough for a down payment on a mortgage. Even if it was minimal. I told my dad that we were planning to take out a loan, but he asked us to wait.
– It’s so hard for Grandma to live alone, and there’s no other family there. We’re going to take her to our house and sell her apartment. She agreed to everything. Don’t hurry yet. Grandma will move and you’ll get the money from the sale of the apartment. You’ll be able to buy a better apartment, maybe without any credit at all.
We were glad of such an offer. We could not even dream that we would be able to do without a loan, but even if we can get a smaller amount – that is happiness. My parents had four months to do everything we planned. We added our savings. It was enough for a one-bedroom apartment without a loan, but we still decided to buy a two-bedroom. Otherwise, how to live in a one-bedroom apartment with the kids.
We still had to take out a loan, but the payments were very nice. Six months later we have already moved into our own apartment. We invited all our relatives to our housewarming party, including my husband.
– Not a bad apartment, you guys are lucky,” said Jake’s brother’s wife. – We’re never able to save up. So much money goes to the kids.
I really wanted to tell her that we were more thoughtful about our housing situation, but I didn’t say anything. After all, it wouldn’t have made any difference. My mother-in-law was silent all night, obviously thinking something over. And very soon we found out what it was.
She came to us and told us this:
– It was already very difficult for me to live together with my son and his children. There are too many people in the apartment. Help Jake buy his own place!
– Why should I do that? – Robert wondered.
– Well, you were helped. So now you owe it too.
– Yes, we’ll try to repay that debt. But not to you, – I didn’t keep silent. Robert only nodded in support.
– And what difference does it make, from whom was the help? The main thing that it was! And you should help too! Your parents don’t need anything, but Jake… You’ll pay off your mortgage in no time, and then you can save for his apartment.
Robert shook his head and replied that he wasn’t going to participate in anything like that.
– Jake’s not a kid anymore, he’s lived in his own good time for so many years. Apparently, he’s happy with his life. And so are you, obviously, since you haven’t helped them in such a long time. You don’t have to put it on us. We worked hard to earn an apartment. Yes, my wife’s in-laws helped us, but we invested pretty well, too. If we did have a debt, you certainly had nothing to do with it, Mother.
My mother-in-law said something else, tried to put pressure on pity: they were small children, don’t you want to help your nephews? But Robert objected that they are not orphans, which means that their own parents can help them.
– We actually plan to have children of our own.
In the end my mother-in-law took offense at us. She even spat on the doorstep when she left. For some reason she thought that we would change our mind. But she was wrong. Yes, my husband was upset about the fight with his mother. But he was quickly distracted because he was soon to be a father.
