This is not my first year as a flight attendant. Yesterday I had a very difficult flight – our tourists were returning from Thailand. I was so fed up that I decided to pour out my soul.
1. Why can’t you clean up your mess? This is just a nightmare! Like, I bought a ticket, so I can shit all over the plane? I went into the bathroom and was dumbfounded to see shoe marks right on the toilet. You should be in the eagle’s pose when you’re on a train, not an airplane. Why are there disposable seats and special pads? Men are a different story. Is it so hard to lift the seat? Do you behave like that at home?
Women are flying with you, albeit strangers, but show respect. If you have not learned to pee standing up, or too small dignity, sit down, dear, and pour out your soul. Women are different too – right on the floor scattering their bloody accessories and used baby diapers. Who’s the urn for?
2. Kids. I hate little kids on board. Why do you bring babies like that on vacation? The flight lasts six hours, usually passengers sleep the entire time. But the little tourists sometimes put on such a kardebalete that the entire crew is on their ears. Turn on cartoons, take toys – you should think about what will be your child in the plane. Watch your child, because I’m tired of catching children’s bodies under the cart.
3. Stewardesses. Dear male passengers, flight attendants are required to speak to you kindly according to the instructions, they are by no means flirting. That is their job and the demands of the transportation company. They have families and do not suffer from loneliness. You are not the man of their dreams. No flight attendant dreams of being alone in the bathroom with you. Calm down! In my entire practice, only one flight attendant met her future husband on a plane, but she just left him her number.
4. Rude attitude. Many passengers think that they have to kiss their heels on the plane and fulfill all the whims at the click of a button. The staff is responsible for the safety of the flight, not the licking of the heel. We get paid for our work, but don’t treat us like servants. If you don’t care what opinion we are left with after talking to you, sit down and pile right up in the aisle. We’ll take your sign.
5. Intimacy on an airplane. Many extreme lovers only agree to fly for a “cupcake” on an airplane. If you think this is something extreme and extravagant, then I’m going to disappoint you – it’s disgusting. You’re not on board alone, and the toilet is designed for a completely different purpose. How would you like to be in a room where someone has had a quickie in front of you? That’s it! Want to try sex on a plane? Pay for a private transfer and don’t deny yourself anything.
6. Hygiene. Just wash, people. Brush your teeth and use antiperspirants. This applies to both women and men. I ignore the requests of those passengers who stink a mile away, or I’ll throw up right on them. I’m not proud. I feel sorry for the people who have to fly several hours in your company
Would you say to give up everything and change careers? But remember one truth: good service means two-way traffic. You treat us well and we treat you well. As a result, you have a comfortable flight, and we have less hassle and a better mood.
